- You associate warm rice porridge with Saturday and Xmas eve.
- It seems sensible that the age limit at Oslo night clubs is 23 or 25.
- You find yourself debating the politics of
Kjell Magne Bondevik Jens Stoltenberg Erna SolbergJonas Gahr Støre.
- You think there’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
- It seems nice to spend a week in a small wooden cottage up in the mountains, with no running water or electricity.
- You think cross-country skiing is the only real skiing.
- You know at least five different words describing different kinds of snow.
(Although… the Scots apparently have no fewer than 421(!) words for snow…)
- The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is look for the queue number machine.
- You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.
- A sharp intake of breath has become part of your active vocabulary.
- You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to Vinmonopolet (State wine monopoly).
- You think nothing of paying
NOK 65 (US$ 7.5) NOK 80 (US$ 9.5)NOK 90 (US$ 10) for a bottle of ‘cheap’ wine at Vinmonopolet.
- Your native language has seriously deteriorated: you “eat medicine” and “go and lay yourself”.
- You rummage through your plastic bottles collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to the recycle centre.
- Eating lunch at 11 am and dinner at 3 pm is acceptable.
- Your front doorstep is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
- When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
- he is drunk;
- he is insane;
- he is American;
- he is all of the above.
- The reason you take the ferry to Denmark is:
- duty-free vodka
- duty-free beer
- to party
- Silence is fun. (!!!)
- Eating pizza is the only reason to get off the boat in Copenhagen.
- It no longer seems excessive to spend NOK 500 (US$ 80!) on alcohol in a single night.
- You care who wins the “Hvem fanger sommerens største fisk” contest.
- Your old habit of being “fashionably late” is no longer acceptable.
- You know that “religious holiday” means “let’s get pissed”.
- You enjoy the taste of lutefisk.
- You use mmmm as a conversation filler.
- An outside temperature of 9C is mild (in mid-June).
- You wear sandals with socks.
- You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank.
- You think riding a racing bike in the snow is a perfectly sensible thing to do (with or without snow tires).
- When you start styling your… ahem… hiney hair
Written by persons unknown, in a previous millennium.17,728 views
6 thoughts on “You know you’ve been too long in Norway when…”
Here are a few more some doubled up…
You know you have been in Norway too long when
– you want to leave
– you always prepare to catch the door slamming in your face when following closely behind someone else
– you can’t remember when to say “please” “thank you” and “excuse me”
– you only buy your own drink at the bar even when you are with a group of people
– driving, you stop using your indicators & think nothing of pulling out in front of traffic with right-of-way
– you look away when you walk by people, even if you know them
– a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that: they are drunk, insane, an expat, all of the above
– you think silence is fun
– you use “Mmmm-mmm-mmm” as conversation filler
– you get scared when a stranger randomly starts up a conversation with you
– you actually start believing that “there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing”
– you believe it’s actually fun to spend a week in a small wooden cottage up in the mountains, with no running water, no electricity and a smelly outside toilet
– you start to believe that if it wasn’t for Norway’s efforts; the world would collapse
– you think an outside temperature of 9°C is quite mild (in June…)
– you know the difference between Blue and Red ski wax
– you don’t fall over when walking on ice
– you know at least five different words for describing different kinds of snow
– you associate Friday afternoon with a trip to the Vinmonopolet
– you think nothing of paying £50 for a bottle of ‘cheap’ spirit at Vinmonopolet
– it no longer seems excessive to spend £100 on drinks one night
– you know that “religious holiday” means “let’s get pissed”
– you find it acceptable to eat lunch at kl.11 and dinner at kl.15, sorry 11am and 3pm…
– you expect all dinner parties and meetings to start precisely on time, if not before
– you know Norway’s results in the last three years in the “Melodi Grand Prix” song contest
– you find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than in the name of the wine
– you enjoy the taste of lutefisk and cod prepared in any way, including fried cod tongues
– you happily eat your hotdog wrapped in a cold potato pancake
– you associate rice pudding with Saturdays and christmas eve
– you can prepare fish in five different ways without cooking it
– you wear socks in sandals
– your wardrobe no longer has suits, but blue shirts, coloured sports-jackets, half-mast jeans & ecco shoes
– you don’t look twice at business men in dark suits wearing sport socks
– it feels natural to wear sports clothes and a backpack everywhere
– you find yourself speaking halfway Swedish with Swedes
– you can’t understand why foreigners haven’t heard about Bjørn Dæhlie
– you don’t question the habit of making a “matpakke”
– you know the meaning of life has something to do with the words “kos” & “koselig”
– you can’t stand leaving the country because people everywhere else are so nice, it’s annoying
– you vigorously defend whaling and enjoy consuming whale meat
– you have two cars, a cabin and a boat, if not more
– you earn more than you spend
– you think it’s weird if a house isn’t wooden
– you associate Easter with cross-country skiing with friends and family in the family’s mountain cabin
– you are shocked if there are not 2 months of snow every year, at least!
– you can see mountains and the ocean, no matter where you are
– you get your hands on Norwegian chocolate and guard it with your life
– you would rather miss your flight than not have enough time to buy the duty free alcohol quota
– you are more afraid of customs than terrorists
– you think nothing of ordering drinks at the airport at 6 am
– you say “oh well, down it goes” when served bad wine
– you actually think that “fiske boller” and “Joikakaker” taste nice
– you barbecue when it’s raining
– you have bad conscience if you’re not outside when it’s sunny
– you get dozy after only two days of sun
– you go for a swim when it’s only 12°C in the water and think it’s “fresh”
– in winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark – only working eight-hour days and think nothing of it…
– your first reaction if there’s a terrorist attack on the other side of the world, is “oh my god, did any Norwegians get hurt?”
I’ll merge most/all of them into the page soon.
I’ve just stumbled upon the blog, but even though it’s an old post, I have to ask: what is the thing about inhaling? I’ve heard lots of people comment on it – but only immigrants. As a norwegian, I’m puzzled! What am I doing that everyone notices but me? 🙂
I did a little Googling, and came across:
What is the name of the vocalization Norwegian speakers make when they are agreeing with a speaker?
‘It sounds like saying ‘ya’, but on an inhale instead of an exhale. In English, it would be replaced by ‘mmhmm’. I heard it mostly when a group of people were talking to each other, and the listeners would make the noise when they agreed with some point.’
I think that’s what Yago refers to
Oooh, now I recognize it! Thank you! 🙂
And also, thank you for the funny list! I haven’t realized that some of the things you point out are so norwegian 😉
LOL loved it! Been there for two months and experienced at least half of whats on the list. The inhaling is still the most fantastic 😀